Moving Forward --->

As time passes by...
I am beginning to understand the facts and fakes of life
I used to grumble, crying and nagging day and night for things that could not get through into my thick head.
What I saw was darkness, hatred and anger...I was a bewildered person.
Being INDECISIVE was another kind of disease that I never understood!
It just happened to be in my nerves and den-droids that I failed to overcome every time I wanted to decide SOMETHING.

BUT...after a while, i learn that problems will never be solved unless you went to through it with faith,love and hope. Along the way, I understood that there will be discomforts here and there...but it was only a process of healing until you are strong enough to face challenges and be ready to live the present.

I cried a lot....but I knew it didnt bring me any changes. SO I crawl...and I walk....I jump ...and finally I tried to fly...The feelings of succeeding in walking,conquering and solving through all the difficulties,fear,failures in life (instead of giving up) was so energizing and uplifting~!You never knew how strong you were until you experienced it yourself.

I have let go my past..live the present and moving forward to my future.
I am alive..and still living and loving my life every single bit~!

I thank o God for the strength ..I thank to the person who make me understood ...:)

Dear Mother

Dear Mother,
Why are you doing this to me?
Why mother...Why...
I was trying to pleased you..so you'll be proud of me..
But why mother...why are you doing this to me?
I am beginning to trust you...learning how to talk to you..
but Why are you doing this to me mother??
I wish we could talk like what a mother daughter used to be..
I wish you will serve me with a loving hug everytime I'm back home..
I wish you can learn to say Sorry..forgive me..So I will cherish with your words..
I wish that you could trust me with whatever decisions I made..


my feelings are torning apart...n I'm even more confused than you are now..coz u made me to become one....

All We Need is Time

We need time to read and write.
We need time to reflect all the things we've done.
We need time to fix things that are almost torn apart.
We need time to love and trust someone.
We need time to love our jobs that we hated.
We need time to gain money.
We need time to be strong.
We need time to heal the wounds.
We need time to build the palace.
We need time to plan.
We need time to educate ourselves.
We need time to rest and be happy even for a second.
We need time to talk and listen to God.
we need time to achieve our goals.
We need time to be patient.
We need time to make impossible things to possible.

ALL WE NEED IS TIME and our day would turn to a brighter day.

Si gontua...

Si nonong...a 6 years old cat who loves to "mansau" and flirt around the kampung. It will bite if he is in a bad mood.he had a gf but was dump by the queen of the hse, then he fell in love with a new underage female cat and kept together in one cage..he had no choice and she got pregnant. ..currently had 3 kids..a son and two daughters born on 6 dec 2008 on a bookshelf..sadly, his 2nd daughter "Mika" had died. ...Still he seems emotionless to that n currently actively searching for more victims to mate...

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Children who diligently carried their own "wakid" which is full of durians.Even they are not as lucky as the other kids that enjoy other luxuries, but they still can put a SMILE on their face. Life is indeed ..a beautiful journey.













Living in simplicity......












Life is beautiful....my dad always said to me"Do not complaint about the darkness..just light up a candle"...sitting alone that night ,blackout.. I put on a candle...The phrase suddenly pop out from my mind and it made me think that LIFE isn't that bad after all once you have experienced it.Staying alone in a small hut, blackout, jotting down words on a piece of paper, waiting for candles to melt and listening insects that creep,crawl and bite at a silent night...is still humble and pleasant living....B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L

I STILL REMEMBER

I still remember when I shouted at him. Never listened him anyway anyhow.
I still remember I was jealous when I saw him with other cute girls.
I still remember I lent him some money whenever he broke.
I still remember I gave him $5 for dinner but in the end he bought a box of Marlboro.
I stll remember, he threw me a pack of Maggie mee when I was starving.
I stll remember I knocked my head trying to kill myself to get his attention. I was being ignored. Silly me.
I still remember we had a long chat. It was wonderful.
I still remember he helped me out with my final projects.
I still remember, he looked after me when I was hospitalized.
I still remember, the way he kissed and hugged me.
I still remember, I brought him to my house to meet my family. Hoping my parents would love him.
I still remember too, he brought me to his place and meet his parents and sisters. I was freaking nervous.
I still remember when he left for work. I was left alone that morning, Missing him so much.
I still remember, I was calling for help that morning... Lucky his bro-in-law was there to send me to emergency room. I was counting my breath that time.
I still remember, when we broke, we helped our friends to complete their assignments and as a reward we got our RM10. We bought two dinner pack/tapau nearby the streets.
I still remember when we walked that night and laid down on the grass. Looking at the stars. And counting it.
I still remember he told me his history with his Ex> I got emotionally sick.
I still remember, He laid his hands on me for the first time. I was real mad but we end up laughing together.
I still remember, we had a great time back in KL.
I still remember, we used to have an angel in our lives.
I still remember, when we hang out with our friends. We had great time and I missed them.
I still remember, I brought him souvenirs everytime I came back from overseas trip. I love it.
I still remember, when he sues me out from the house. I ran away, lost for one night and he picked me up the day after.
I still remember, that we don’t celebrate valentines.
I still remember that I used to accompany him to the office..
I still remember, I cried like a baby when I knew I am leaving him to aiport.Don’t want to be away from him.
I still remember, when I was angry and talk nonsense to him.
I still remember, he cooked dinner for me.
I still remember, he let me borrow his blue wira car so I can travel to office. Everyday. He sacrificed himself to walk and use LRT instead.
I still remember, when we went to the church together. Hoping that he will open his heart to join catholics.
I still remember, we watch movies together and let the TV watch us until morning.
I still remember, he let out his anger by throwing things around the house. I straight pick it up and place it together.
I still remember, I ever challenge his temper. Crazy!
I still remember, that If I cant reach him, I will text him with nonsense words treating him like dirty laundry.
I still remember I get drunk one wild night. He got a big slap from a big mama.
I still remember, we danced together. He was not really good at it.
I still remember, when I was away from him, I squeezed and cuddled a pillow with his unwashed shirt that I have put on.
I still remember, I was being suspicious to him and started to check his phone bills.
I still remember, He emailed me to end our relationship. I broke into tears like hell.
I still remember we had a great circle of friends in our lives.
I still remember, he was extremely happy when I say YES to him for the second time.
I still remember, he hugged me after a year splitting up. He melts me.
I stll remember, he left his girlfriend just to be with me.
I still remember, he never missed to hold my hand while driving. Lucky it was auto.
I still remember that he is trying to convince my parents to marry me.

I still remember, I left him and be with other guy. Hoping he could be happy. And do things he likes without me. I have set him free……..
Seeing him with his new life...he is much happier now.Time will heal the wound....

I wanna thank

I wanna thank to the person who taught me about LOVE and LIFE.

I wanna thank him for giving me so many chances and unconditionally love which I have destroyed.
I wanna thank him for looking after me during my sickness.
I wanna thank him for for giving me time to let out my anger and to speak all the nonsense things to him. believe me no MAN in this planet can stand it except HIM.
I wanna thank him for sharing his life with me without any doubts.
I wanna thank him for his patience -entertaining my anger.
I wanna thank him ALL that he has given to me. He is the most Kindest, sweet, loveable MAn I ever knew on this earth.

To those who hate me for being EVIL to him, FORGIVE ME.
To those who heard stories about me , FORGIVE ME.
To those who thinks I'm silly, stupid and useless as human being, FORGIVE ME and thank you.
To those who thinks I'm bad and cruel person, FORGIVE ME.
To those who have comforted him and be with him through all his bad days, thank you.

No matter how bad you think about me,you are always be remembered as my FRIENDS.
To the MAN that I am still in love with, I was WRONG and I am glad you are doing fine and seeing you with a NEW LIFE. My prayer has been answered.

THANK YOU ALL.